Choosing the Day You Want: Lessons from a Birthday in Japan

I’m a summer child. No two ways about it. I love sunshine, long days, living in shorts and jandals, and swimming in the sea. On the rare Wellington days when the sun shines while I’m in the office, I peer miserably out the window, running desperately outside to soak up vitamin C on my breaks. I drive my family nuts insisting we sit outside for dinner, even when it’s windy (spoiler: it’s always windy in Wellington).

I’m also birthday obsessed. To me, birthdays are right up

there with Christmas in importance, build-up, and enthusiasm. Celebrations are special. The best ones include walks in the sunshine, food with friends, a run, a swim at the beach.

This year, we spent my birthday in Japan. My choice — my partner was snowboarding, and I didn’t want to be away from him for both my birthday and Valentine’s Day. But snowboarding means cold. Snow. Winter.

I tried to plan. I wanted to run parkrun and be in nature. But we needed to get to Hakuba the next day, and our plans didn’t quite match the landscape or the logistics.

The day started okay. We woke up in a different hotel than planned (a story for another time!) but made it to parkrun just in time. I got a PB (by one second but it counts!) then it started snowing as we finished. Magical. 

We had planned a walk along the beach to a small island. But being in a different hotel, our walk took us through streets for an hour. At first, it was pretty: snow falling on the trees cut in that distinct Japanese style. We even grabbed hot tea from a vending machine to warm our hands.

Then it got cold. The novelty wore off. The houses were less charming, the beach a stretch of uninspiring brown sand surrounded by concrete. A far cry from the green park or white sand I had been expecting. No vegan food or soy matchas anywhere. I was miserable. I also really wasn’t being the version of myself that I like. I started picking at my partner, complaining, making everything worse. I was crying, I was cold, and everything felt totally overwhelming. 

Fortunately, my partner was patient, and I paused. I asked myself: How am I living my values in this moment? Two of my values are love and spark (which is about travel, new adventures, self expression, creatuvity). Was I being the person I want to be? No. I saw a post much later that encapsulated it: you aren’t having a bad day. You’re having a bad moment and indulging it all day. 

We recalibrated. First: food and warmth. We found a café on the island, had snacks, and a warm fruit tea. Not perfect, but enough to get us warm and to increase our blood sugar. 

Then: something fun. Instead of walking in the cold, we found a hot pool with stunning views. It was so fancy, it was very traditionally Japanese (though we could also wear swimsuits and be in a hot pool together, which is not traditional), and embraced where we were. An hour later, warm and relaxed, we caught a cab to dinner. I hate cars. I like walking everywhere. But in the cold? In the snow when I was tired and everything is far apart? We adapted. We had a delicious dinner in a gorgeous little vegan restaurant. I opened my present. It felt special. 

Then we caught another cab back to where we had come from and zoomed up the hill to look at the lights. We only got to see them for about ten minutes before they turned off, but fairy lights covering a pink blooming plum tree is something really quite magical. Then we caught yet another cab home. 

Day saved. 

So how did the day get saved? We kept calm. (Ok, one of us did. The other had a moment but then chose not to live in it). 

We asked: What matters right now?

Who do I want to be in this moment?

What can we prioritize? 

We didn’t try to do it all or force a summer’s day. We embraced what was possible and made the best of it.

This is a reminder I want to carry with me: we get to choose the day we have. Bad moments don’t have to define the day. With a small attitude shift, reflection on our values, identity, and priorities, and a conscious choice, we can reset, even in less-than-ideal circumstances. This is not about toxic positivity. It is about taking control of our emotions and choosing our narrative. 

Your Turn

What’s one small adjustment you could make today to live more aligned with your values and priorities?

If you want more guidance on resetting, reflecting, and intentionally choosing how you show up in your life, check out my Alignment Circle — a community, workshops, and group sessions that help you live your values and prioritize what truly matters. You can also explore the Pause  Workbook for a structured deep-dive into intentional living.