Crocodiles, crowns and caring responsibilities

Wear the rhinestones

Kia ora e hoa (hello friend),

It's been a busy few weeks!

The Aligned Author

I flew to Auckland for the Romance Writers of New Zealand conference, where I heard from inspiring writers, met new and old friends, and was reminded again of some of the business basics of being a writer.

On Saturday, I presented a workshop entitled The Aligned Author, about designing our lives intentionally, reflecting on what matters to us, and making space for it.

Most of the writers I know are women, and as such I spoke to a lot of people who work at a very difficult, though fun, job, while also taking on the lion's share of caring responsibilities.

Some people have kids. Some are caring for ageing parents or parents-in-law. And it seems like just about everyone has a story of being interrupted during their writing time because people don't respect their work, or assume that the women will be the ones to pick up the slack.

I will not go on a feminist rant here, but suffice to say I am well aware that there are imbalances in many households that mean women do the bulk of unpaid work, even when they are actually the primary breadwinners.

We talked about how easy it is to drift away from what we care about and value because we get caught up in all the shoulds. We spent some time talking about how to check back in with what matters to us, and make decisions that honour who we want to be.

The session was so inspiring and encouraging. It reminded me how much I love doing this work with people in real time.

If you have a group you think could benefit from me talking to them, please do put us in touch. I love being able to share this work with people.

Living your values

After Auckland, I flew to Darwin, where I had a podcast interview with Stephanie Martinez Rivera from the Joy Found Here podcast. We talked about juggling lots of different responsibilities, getting to know yourself, and I shared a bit more about my own story of realising that I wasn't living in line with my values, and how I changed that.

The next day, I went on a river cruise and saw some incredible animals in the wild, including some amazing estuarine crocodiles. It took several hours of travel to get there and home again, which is pretty tough on my back, but it was worth it to me to see the animals in the wild rather than in one of the more exploitative settings in town.

It was a good reminder that sometimes living by our values costs us something in the short term, even if it helps us feel more satisfied and at peace in the long term.

A little seize-the-moment energy

I've also recorded two podcasts in the past couple of weeks, both of which have a bit of a seize-the-moment theme.

The first was about a friend of mine who died twenty years ago, but whose memory I still hold dear. The episode was me reflecting on who I wish I had been the last time I saw that friend, and how I try to smile at people and check on them more these days.

You can listen to that here.

The second was about living unapologetically as ourselves. I talk about Dolly Parton, wearing a gold sequin gown with a crown, and being the one to start the dance floor.

It's a reminder to make plans and make the most of now, whatever that looks like for you.

You can listen to that one here.

For now...

I'm drafting this from a plane on the way to Melbourne, where I'll spend a few days in the forest with my sister before heading home.

When I get back, I'll have some more thoughts for you about a tricky situation I've been navigating, and how to keep going when something knocks you sideways.

For now though, I'm looking forward to a bone-crushing hug and a lot of chocolate.

What are you looking forward to?

Until next time, take care, and remember, it's not about perfection, it's about intention.

Warmly,

Ruth